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<title>Why? by MaddieandChimney</title>
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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24898975">Why?</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaddieandChimney/pseuds/MaddieandChimney'>MaddieandChimney</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>9-1-1 (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, Other</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 02:21:05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>826</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24898975</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/MaddieandChimney/pseuds/MaddieandChimney</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After a long shift, Chimney asks Buck why his sister loves him.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Evan "Buck" Buckley &amp; Howie "Chimney" Han, Maddie Buckley/Howie "Chimney" Han</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>24</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Why?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Chimney doesn’t know what brings it on but suddenly, he’s standing in front of Buck with a serious expression on his face. He’s planning on asking Maddie to marry him, he doesn’t know when or even how he’s going to do it but he has a ring and he has the dream of seeing her in a wedding dress walking towards him. She’s also carrying his child and of course, he knows she loves him and he knows that she probably will say yes but he’s terrified all the same.</p><p>It’s been a long day, full of death and trauma, he’s had more blood spilled on him than he has done in a long while. He’s absolutely exhausted but Buck is in front of him and the words kind of fall out before he can stop them, “Why the hell does Maddie love <em>me</em>, Buck?”</p><p>He doesn’t really know where the question comes from, it most definitely was not what he intended to ask her brother – really, he had intended on asking for his approval in Chimney asking her to be his wife. But instead, <em>those</em> words come out and when they’re out there and he sees the confusion on the younger mans face, he regrets it. It’s a stupid question, one that barely makes any sense. But there’s something inside of him that needs to know because when he asks Maddie, she tells him all the right things that he needs to hear. Maybe hearing it from someone else will solidify it in his mind.</p><p>“Uh… shouldn’t you be asking Maddie this?” Buck is confused, and of course he is, Chimney would be if the question were just thrown at him too at the end of a twelve-hour shift.</p><p>“I have, I’ve asked her so many times but I don’t know. She’s amazing, gorgeous, wonderful in every single way possible and I just… I stare at her sometimes and I wonder why the hell someone like her would ever want to be with someone like me.”</p><p>If Buck didn’t look confused before, he definitely did right then and if Chimney was expecting a cocky comment about how gorgeous the Buckley’s were so <em>duh</em>, he was left surprised. “What do you mean? Someone like you?”</p><p>With a sigh, Chimney shifts uncomfortably from one foot to the other as he tries to think of the right words, “I don’t know what I mean. I just… I look at her and I wonder how I got so lucky. I didn’t think this would ever happen to me, you know? To fall in love and have that person feel the exact same way and I know she loves me, I’m not stupid, I can see it and she doesn’t say those words exactly but I know she feels it and that’s enough. She is <em>everything </em>and no matter how hard I try, I never feel worthy.”</p><p>What he hopes to be his future brother-in-law seems to be processing the words when he falls into silence for a few moments, until he nods his head. “I can’t tell you why my sister loves you, Chimney. But I can tell you that you make her happy, happier than she’s ever been before. You make her feel safe and loved, you have from the very beginning… with no conditions, no… pressure. You’ve let Maddie be Maddie, you gave her back her control and you let her feel as though she could breathe, Chimney. She spent so many years not being able to trust the person she loved, she spent <em>years</em> being terrified of the man who was meant to love her.”</p><p>“S-so I’m the safe option?” It’s not fair, but sometimes, he wonders – he’s a safe pair of arms that would never raise a hand to her, he barely ever raises his voice.</p><p>At that, Buck shrugs, “You are safe but that’s not why or what she loves about you. Before she came here, when uh… when you both finally stopped the whole taking a moment thing you had going on? She came to me. She was in my apartment, pacing up and down as she tried to explain to me that she felt like a massive part of her was missing for every second she didn’t have you in her life. I had to listen to her for over two hours try and barter with herself why she didn’t feel good enough for you, so seriously, you both need to stop doubting this. You’re perfect for each other.”</p><p>The pat on his shoulder from the other man is enough to get him to release the breath he hadn’t even realised he was holding, before he nods his head and smiles, “You’re right, for once, you’re an absolute idiot and I have no idea how you’re right. But yeah, thanks, Buckaroo.”</p><p>“I’d say anytime, but… if you’re still questioning if you’re good enough for Maddie in ten years, I’m going to scream.”</p>
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